eHarmony Dating Site Review


Eharmony needs no introduction. We’ve all seen the multitude of the commercials with founder, Dr. Neil Clark Warren, humoring us with awkward dating scenarios we’ve encountered at one point or another in our quest to find love. With over 20 million registered users online, the odds of finding your match are definitely favorable. Pair that with Eharmony’s 29 DIMENSIONS model and you got a recipe for dating success.

Setting Up Your Profile

Signing up is a very involved process. It is important to take your time in answering the questions. The questions are a product of Dr. Warren’s 29 Dimensions of Compatibility in which he had observed a set of characteristics that were present in all successful relationships from his 35 years of marriage counseling experience.

Membership Fees

As expected the membership fees are presented upfront. The basic membership fees are $32.95/month for 3 months, $28.95/month for 6 months, $15.95/month for 9 months, and $13.95/month for 12 months. This affords you to view match profiles, access to the “Book of You “, see your matches’ photos, see who’s viewed you, and send and receive unlimited messages. For those that desire more features, the total connect plans are available.

Membership Extras
There are two plan options available for total connect. For those in it for the long haul, then $15.95/month will be what you’ll be paying for 9 months. You will be billed $29.95/month if you opt for the shorter commitment of 6 months. In addition to the features mentioned in the basic plan you will get your ID verified by RelyId, you can talk on the phone safely through SecureCall, and receive a deeper analysis deemed “Premium Book of You.”


Eharmony’s strength lies in its personality test. As mentioned earlier, it is imperative that you take some time in answering as many questions as possible, if not all. The more complete your profile is and the more questions you answer then the odds of receiving more matches are in your favor. You get up to thirty matches a day. That may seem more than enough for some people, however, without the ability to do your own search; you can probably burn through 30 profiles in no time.

As a paid member you can send ice breakers. This is designed for those who are a little more tentative about initiating communication. They consist of cute and friendly messages such as “Your profile got my attention…let’s chat”, “Your profile brought a smile to my face!”, and “Wink!” to name a few. If you have trouble deciding which ice breaker to use, then you can simply send a smile to your match.

Guided Communication

The recommended form of communication is through Eharmony’s patented "Guided Communication". The process is gradual; however, it shows that you aren’t trying to rush into something. You start off by selecting five multiple choice questions from a list of many for your match to answer. If there is interest, you will receive their answers and five multiple choice questions that they want you to answer. Once there is mutual satisfaction, then you move onto the next stage. The next step in process escalates to exchanging personal must haves and can’t stand qualities. Some examples of must haves are loyalty, family life, passion, and a sense of humor. Examples for can’t stand are being rude, cheating, lying, and doing drugs. For some, it might be a good place to determine whether to continue or move on. However, it doesn’t have to be a deal breaker at this point. It could simply be a good way to garner more information to help formulate a better idea of the situation. In addition, if you have questions about the match’s choice, it could be a topic for further discussion. If both parties are complacent with the results at this stage, then both continue onto the last stage in “Guided Communication.” The final steps in Guided Communication are the exchange of three open-ended questions. This is where you can really shine. You can create your own questions or select from a list to gain insight on your match. At the same time be prepared to provide meticulous answers revealing your core values, deep feelings, and in depth thoughts. If you’ve made it this far, then you are deserving of some form of celebration.

Open Communication

Once both sides have gained a good amount of insight, “Open Communication” follows. In Open Communication, both parties are exchanging messages in an anonymous and safe way. This is where deeper feelings are raised between the parties. It’s similar to the final steps in Guided Communication, without the limitation to three questions. Your level of interest is the only ceiling for your discussions. It is a good idea to keep rambling or going on random tangents at a minimum, especially if you are expecting a phone call or a first date.


Other features that can help your match become more comfortable with you are through the use of RelyID and Secure Call. Both were briefly mentioned earlier in the membership extras section. RelyID is an identity verification service that validates your name, address, and age. Only your first name, the city where you live, and your age are revealed to your match. Once you have been verified a RelyID badge will be shown on your profile giving your matches confidence that you are really who you say you are. In addition it maximizes your communication opportunities. On top of that Eharmony claims that you will receive 20% more emails with RelyID. Secure Call is a feature that allows you to talk anonymously and confidentially with your match over the phone without ever having to reveal your number. What I really liked about Secure Call is that it announces the name of the caller before you accept the call. For whatever reason your match becomes annoying at some point in your exchanges, you have the option of blocking them. For the matches that are a couple of time zones away, you can still call them without incurring long distance charges. However, your mobile or LAN line provider may charge you. Check with them first before you decide to make long distance calls.

The Freebies

Not all the features on Eharmony require a paid membership. There is a plethora of tips and advice on dating, relationships, and how to use Eharmony from the experts. I found a lot of the information to be quite helpful and interesting. The only problem is that there isn’t a date stamp to let you know when the articles were written. For all we know, the articles could have been written in the nineties. As a free member you have access to your matches’ profile. You would think that would be all the information you would need, right? The reality is that by nature we are visual creatures and not being able to see a profile picture is a bummer. No matter how much detail is provided on your profile or how much you match up to the other person, it’s just not the same without the picture. Besides, all of this information is useless unless you can communicate with your match. Having free membership also gives you access to the “book of you.” It is literally a book that illustrates your personality based on the answers you provide when you initially sign up. In the book of you, there are five areas of your personality. They are “Agreeables”, “Openness”, “Emotional Stability”, “Conscientiousness”, and “Extraversion.” In the “Agreeables” section, your consideration and compassion for others are explored. Under “Openness” your behavior is tested against new ideas and how you react to them. Your emotions are put to the challenge in rocky situations under “Emotional Stability.” Your work ethic and how you approach daily tasks are exemplified in “Conscientiousness.” Whether you are outgoing or introspective is determined in “Extraversion.” The results from in the “book of you” did not coincide with my own my personality. I really didn’t think too much of it. It was more of novelty to have on the site.

With the amount of time and effort a person puts into signing up and communicating on Eharmony, you have to be committed and serious about relationships. Obviously no one here just wants to hook up. Eharmony’s model is predicated on the simple idea of finding “the one. Membership fees are a tad on the high side, but I am firm believer in you get what you pay for. Quality is paramount on Eharmony and it shows from the initial sign up process to the moment you meet your match. If this is something that resonates with you, then I encourage you to sign up. For those that are on the fence, I suggest reading the marriage testimonials. Eharmony is responsible for 4% of marriages in the US.

Searching Profiles

Unfortunately you are not able to search for members like many other dating sites. Eharmony does all the leg work for you by asking you questions and ultimately guiding you to find your perfect match, however, I think it doesn’t hurt to have the option to do your own search. The only way around this is to adjust your profile and answer the questions differently the second time around. If starting over seems like a drag, then you are relegated to being patient and reviewing a new set of matches every day.

Check Out eHarmony

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